Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
