She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
