were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
We are all done wearing pants today
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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