Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
