Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize