You work out of a Hotel?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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