I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize