Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
