these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
