i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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