Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
