I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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