There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize