Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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