yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
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