dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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