I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
