Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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