The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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