i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
