just tell him i said nine months
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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