he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
