mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
