i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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