The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
