He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
