everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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