based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Randomize
