I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
