Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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