I wanna bring you to show and tell
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
