So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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