Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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