What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
