Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
