BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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