It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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