i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
