Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
