i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
