but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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