somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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