Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
dude. I can hear the air.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Randomize
