Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
