If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
