My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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