i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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