just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm going to jail i love you
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
