Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
