Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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