I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
