She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just had sex on a roof
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
