I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
only if we run a train.
done.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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