i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Randomize
