What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
