Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
