idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
only if we run a train.
done.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
