This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
