He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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