It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
